the march note.

Hey hi hello,

I hope you’re doing well and that February treated you kindly. Speaking of February — love, growth, and all that jazz — I want to remind you of something important: people change.

Sometimes.

Now, don’t take that and run with it like I’m telling you to hold out hope for your toxic ex or that “friend” who’s only nice when it benefits them. No. Cut them off. A swift block, followed by immersing yourself in your own interests, will do wonders for your peace of mind.

What I mean is, you won’t always experience the version of someone you wish they could be. People evolve through different environments and experiences, and those changes are part of personal growth. When you’re constantly around people you’ve always known, it can be hard to work on yourself — especially if they’re not doing the same.

Getting out into the world adds layers to a person. Sometimes your presence reinforces someone’s patterns; other times, it takes distance for change to happen. But change can happen. And if you’ve tried everything, communicated openly, and nothing shifts? It might be time to walk away. Don’t back yourself into a corner trying to fix what isn’t yours to fix.

Growth requires space — that’s why we repot plants when they outgrow their containers. People are no different.

For example, if you want to start going to the gym, someone else isn’t going to magically want to join you unless they decide that for themselves. Maybe they’re just not ready yet. People need their own source of intrinsic motivation, and we’ve talked about this before. If you choose to go solo, you’re building habits that strengthen your independence. And whether you inspire them or not, you’ll be okay.

Also, try not to take it personally if they eventually start working out with someone else. It’s not a reflection of you — we’re all wired differently, with unique blends of brain chemistry, personality, and life experiences. Those factors shape what motivates us and when we feel ready to change.

This realization hit me hard in my early 20s, especially around friendship. Three of my biggest fears have always been feeling like a burden, being left behind, and unintentionally making others feel that way. I genuinely thought the friends I left high school with would be my forever people. When that didn’t pan out, I questioned whether I was just bad at socialising.

But university shifted my perspective. The person I saw in the mirror was social, courageous, kind, and reliable. I wasn’t lacking; I was just growing.

And so are you.

Let people evolve — and give yourself the freedom to do the same.

With love,

the February note.

Hey, Hi, Hello,

February, right? I hope January was good to you and that you’re sticking to those goals you set out for this year. Even if the goal is to set out a clearer goal or plan for the year… or life. I know you can do it!

I had all these crazy ideas for this blog if i’m completely honest, but I’m not sure how to make sense of all the twist and turns. However, I know that if I don’t try, I won’t be practicing all that I preach. Beyond being consistent, being true is the most important. Not all of my ideas have been backing by science, so you mightn’t see a regularly citing of academic writings. Some times it food for thought. So without further ado. 

While tossing grapes in the air, I went down a rabbit hole. You‘re more likely to catch them with eyes wide open. If it sounds obvious, it’s because it is, but then why when I throw this grape in the air, juuust before it laids in my mouth, why do I flinch? Am I scared? Is it a reflex to ensure this grape doesn’t hit me in the eye? Perhaps a little bit of both. So it happens often, right before people do anything that might be considered a success or failure based on their performance. I guess what I’m trying to say is keep your eyes on the prize, you have got to be in it for the long run to see anything come from what you’re doing. 

Sometimes the positive thing we’ve been wishing for will come to us, but in disguise as something else, as something that generally comes about as a challenge to you or I. The universe is a weird and wonderful place. For instance, you ask for more practice, the world will gift you a reason to practice being more patient, or I question why I am so irresponsible (i promise, I’m not) and the universe will prize me with reasons to practice being more responsible. It will not make you more patient or I responsible over night, but we will have a constant reminder that those things are what we are working towards through these challenges that we face. Either we will grow and confront them or do the same thing and expect different outcomes that will not come about.

This month, similar to many other months I’d like to remind you to pause, take a step back and evaluate what is challenging you. Ask yourself “what is this trying to teach me, how is this helping me grow?” If it is not a lesson, let it go. 

Yours truly,